i miss highschool. so bad.

I miss every little thing about it. I miss my school uniform, my friends, teachers...EVERYTHING. Ayoko na! First year palang dami nang problema!

This is it, people. I've already made my decision that I'll hate my college life forever (Overreacting ba? You don't have any idea kasi about what happened). IDK why. I want to transfer schools so bad cause something (err, someone) pushed me to want so. Actually, not just only one but a whole group of them. I won't mention what breed (LOL.) nor mention their kind, it would just piss me off and you wouldn't want that (=. They've caused me (and my other close friend) pain up to now. Di lang kasi ordinaryng pain, it's even worse than having an unlucky day. I don't know when this will end and neither do I know how will this end. Tsk. Tsk. This is unfortunately hard, it's just me (and my other friend. But I felt that it's just me that they're hating on) versus them. I do have other close friends to stand by me but they aren't that supportive unlike my HS friends whom I miss most! And I can sense that they don't want to get theirselves into this.

But the game isn't fair! They started everything! I'm basically the victim who didn't do anything bad or mean to them that pushed them to do mean things to me!

F.Y.I., they even didn't say sorry to me after I found out what their modus operandi was. But when one of them heard me say kanina sa may burger stand, "Amigo sa g**t*y" (since yung close friend ko na involved dito heard them saying her name then mine and she was going to say it to me but may ka-tropa sila na nandun so she said, "Mamaya na. Nandito kasi yung isa nilang kaibigan" and she said it sarcastically and so I replied with what's scripted above), sinabi niya agad sa isa pa niyang friend na sa tingin niya ay ang tinutukoy ko. Then after that I heard this "giatay friend" of his saying, "G**t*y! BLAHBLAHBLAH*" (*I dunno what this was kasi I wasn't paying attention to him/her).

I HATE THEM. THEY'RE SO IMMATURE TO
REACH COLLEGE OR EVEN GET INTO THIS KIND OF INSTITUTION. THEY'RE SO STUPID NOT
TO THINK OF THE PAIN THEY CAUSED US IN THE FIRST PLACE & THINK ONLY OF THE STUPID THING I SAID
OUT OF ANGER AND HAD THEIR PRIDE HELD ABOVE THEIR STUPID HEADS!

I so want to tell my parents about this. Earlier, I really want to tell mom that I wanna transfer schools but I can't easily leave since it's a great school.

Then my mind had this stupid but great idea that I should just not mind them and let time heal things.

Like, as if!

What should I f*cking do?! HELP!

P.S. Sorry for cussing. I just don't know other ways to release my anger.

xo,

-♥C.

keep coming 'round.

Hey! Back from never never land. Weee.

You see, I haven't updated my entries since September. I was pretty much preoccupied with school and I couldn't somehow squish in writing into my schedule- but I managed to steal time just to change my skin. Cause I was, well, tired of my previous skin.

Anyway, it's now October! I'm stoked! I'm stoked. Go figure why. Hehe.

=3 =3 =3

Soo, there's this song and everytime I would listen to this, I feel sad.

Hmm, why?

Same question I have in mind. Why kaya? Don't say that it reminds me of my boyfriend cause; uno, I never had one (NBSB ang dating!); dos, I will never get one until I finish college (I promised that to myself. "Promises are meant to be broken." Hmm, let's wait and see); and tres, I prefer drowning myself with tons of crushes than sticking to one. Hellooohs!? I'm not ashamed admitting that I never had one cause there are like millions of us, NBSB's and I'm just one of them.

But, I tell you, even though my lovelife's stuck on zero, I won't deny that I do have my own kilig moments. Hmmm, it's a private matter. Tsk2. I'll tell you when I'm ready. See?! I'm sooo conservative. Is it because I'm an NBSB?

What?! Oh, you mean, what's the song? Click and you'll find out. =3

Ohh, it's raining. The wind must've felt my sadness and carried rain with him. Great, cause the song totally fits in to the weather. Haaay, such coincidence.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I've heard 'bout the Joe-Taylor breakup and all I can say is that,

You are the one that I belong to; and don't you leave me.

- C.

HAHA. Okay, I have this huge crush on Joe Jonas and I know I'm not the only one. I'd sound hypocrite if I'd say, "I feel sad for what happened" cause I'm sort of not and I'm sad about me being mean by admitting that. *ding!* OMG! I just realized that no matter what will happen to Joe's lovelife, I'll never be a part of it.

D'oh?!

Uhh, thanks for stating the obvious, you guys. Ugh! Stupid distance and social status differences!. Dx

xo,

-C.

my umpire.

i could've at least pretend that i don't like you cause it's all for the best.

Know what?! I hate myself for getting so giddy yesterday. It's weird how I used to think that what I did was right then take them back hours after. I've come to realized that it was wrong. So wrong. Lately, that expression has been giving me problems- like, what should I do when I see you? will everything change? should I do it again? and regrets.

What can I say?! I'm good at what I did- that's my problem. It used to be a normal thing to do before. But you changed that. Now, it won't be the same normal thing that I'm capable of doing. Only when you're around, though. How can a movement of approximately 13-17 facial muscles picture an indescribable, intergalactic wide-like feeling? How can a smile do that? Wait, is that even possible?

Keep in mind that, just because you look like my friend's ex-bf, or you're soooo good in softball- err, I mean AMAZING in softball (I like what you did yesterday, I have to admit. Like, how you slid your way to the 2nd base), or you look good when you're playing the sport, or even cute when you smile, and sporty, and- and you look damm** good in your softball uniform, it doesn't mean that I fully like like you.

Umm...let's just wait and see.

&& thanks for your support and trust. *Sigh* If you only knew how happy I was when you talked to me when I was standing on 3rd base while waiting for my turn to home run.

Know that, you'll always be my umpire that I have a crush on. <3

No people, I'm not talking about iPod. I'm over him already. He already has a girlfriend. Puh-leez! I'm so fed up with thoughts of him, okieees. And besides, I don't get to see him on a regular basis. We're better off as strangers.

B/N: After days of hiatus, I'm back!

P.S. It's just like, okay? and not love. LOLZ.

P.P.S. Let's keep the site child-friendly (**)

P.P.P.S. B/N = Blogger's Note. HEH.

xo,

-♥C.

not possible for me not to care;

Miss me? Heh. You know you do. Don't deny it. HAHA. Seriously, I'm just tryin' to piss you off. LOL. Did it work? Tell me later, mmkay?

I came home very late. My parents' were pretty angry 'bout that. Luckily, I thought of blurting out first the reason why I came home late so that they won't be able to talk just to scold me. Pretty smart, eh? They can't blame me.

So [let's jump back to the topic] my reason why I was late, it's because my batchmate lost his mother in a heart attack last September 08, 2008 and I went there to visit. I've known 'bout this tragedy days after it happened but I never had the time and energy [well, from whole day of practice] to pay a visit. It still wasn't planned so my money wasn't enough to pay for fares. Same thing happened with my two friends. HAHA. We were all B.R.O.K.E.

We made use of our wise brains and later came up with the same idea: BORROW MONEY. And so we did. We deposited our pride at the courtesy booth and claim it maybe after paying our debt.

&& so the journey continued...

We took a ride going to our first stop. And we were lucky to sit across 4 cute guys. HEHE. But we didn't flirt or anything. EW. They're like, younger than us. Pedophile, much?

When we reached first stop, we rode a miniature version of the jeepney we first rode going to our destination.

There were already people there; some of them are from my class who happened to be friends with him. I even saw my old classmate back in sixth grade. He's still 'her'self. If you get what I mean. Tsk. Tsk.

Geez, my friend lost weight. He used to be in a normal shape; not too skinny nor too huge. His weight was just enough for his body built. But now, he's like thinner.

I totally know what he feels right now. I recently lost my grandmother too. It was of course, sad but I can't do anything to bring her back. My tears aren't enough. Our tears aren't enough. It's hard to accept that the person you shared moments with passed away. That is why people can't blame me if I think or ask too much about his condition. He once helped me, now it's my turn to help him. My presence helped, I guess.

And one thing why I worry much about him is because...

I kind of like him.

-but
I won't let myself think about this cause I don't want to fall for him.

&& ANOTHER THING, I DON'T TAKE CRUSHES SERIOUSLY.

[So off-topic!]

That's all. HAHA...

'kbaybay.

P.S. Condolences, Friend.

xo,

-♥C.

i write sins, not fallacy.

Okieess! It's still 12:22 Am right here and I'm no where near drowsy. Semi-finals will start tomorrow and I still haven't studied anything yet. Tsk. I won't be online tomorrow, I guess. I'll be occupied then- but if I can finish early then I might hop in.



I'm bored. Tickle me. Make me laugh. Strangle me. Just to keep me hyper. *complain*





Soo, I was browsing from one site to another and I stumbled upon this survey from someone's blogsite. Since I'm always up for surveys when I'm bored in friendster, I thought, "why not do the same thing here?"



Here it is... Brace yourselves. : p


70 Facts about me:

1. What are your initials? M.C.M.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear? Graphic Tees.

3. Last thing you ate? Dinner.

4. One place you will NEVER eat at? Dirty place.

5. I say Shotgun, you say: Dayumm.

6. Last person you hugged? My mom.

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you? Uhh, I dunno.

8. Would you date anyone you met online? Hmmmmm, NO.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself: Eyes.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to? I forgot.

11. Who is your best friend? I can't tell yet.

12. What time of the day is it? 12.44 AM.

13. Who/What made you angry today? No one.

14. Baseball or Football? Baseball.

15. Ever gone skinny dipping? Only in Sims 2.

16. Favorite type of Food? Italian.

17. Favorite holiday: Summer.

18. Do you download music: Don't you?

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yup, but I don't overreact.

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? Not for me.

21. Would you date the person who posted this? Nope. Why would I?

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? No one that I know of.

23. Do you love anyone? Yup. Aside from my family, my friends.

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy? Not so. It's sexy if it's natural.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped? Nope, but I wish to try that one day.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? Nope.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Nope. Eww.

28. How many pets do you have? None.

29. Have you met a real redneck? Nope. Thank heavens.

30. How is the weather right now? I'm loving it.

31. What are you listening to right now? Tshirt - Shontelle

32. What is your current favorite song? I have lotsss.

33. What was the last movie you watched? Virgin Suicides and Thirteen. I was sort of watching both movies at the same time since it takes time to upload the entire movie.


34. Do you wear contacts? Do you want me to?

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Mall.

36. What are you afraid of? Heights.

37. How many piercings have you had? Two.

38. What piercings do you want? One more on my right ear.

39. What's one thing you've learned this year? Softball.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks? I'm more of a Boss' customer.

41. What Magazines are you reading? Bop, Tigerbeat, TotalGirl Phils.

42. Have you ever fired a gun: I want to try.

43. Are you missing someone? Yup.

44. Favorite TV show? Gossip Girl.

45. Do you have an obession with WoW? Naw.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Yup. HAHAHA.

47. What celeb do you look like? Can't tell. It's embarrassing cause she's really pretty and I'm not.

48. Who would you like to see right now? Joseph Adam Jonas. <3


49. Favorite movie of all time? Many. I love movies.

50. Do you find yourself loved? Yeassshh.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to? Yup.

52. Favorite smell? Morning Dew.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Buttered.

54. Ever put a friend in a cop car on JukePix.com? Nope.

55. Ever been in a cop car in real life? Will never happen.

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? Yup, my grandmother.

57. Our Lady Peace or Nickelback? Nickelback.

58. What's something that really bugs you? Bugs. Hehe.

59. Do you like Michael Jackson? Nope. I'm scared of him, in fact.

60. Taco Bell or Burger King? Burger King.

61. What's your favorite perfume? Victoria's Secret.

62. Favorite baseball team? I don't know any.

63. Ever call a 1-900 phone number? Nope.

64. Nipple or Nose rings? Neither.

65. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? I can't remember.

66. Last time you went bowling? Years ago. 8th grade.

67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? CR.


68. Who was your last phone call? Mary.

69. Last time you were at work? I don't work.

70. What's the closest orange object to you? My graphic tee.



[End]


That's all for now. I have to go sleep. Take the survey, okaaay?
See ya tomorrow. Night.





xo,
-♥C.

plus!

Phew! I'm mega tired. Just came home from mall today. It's burnin' up outside and the air's very warm. Dayumm, global warming. I feel hot. o.0 Okaaay, it sounds totally wrong. HAHAHA. Don't get it the wrong way, people! It's 'literally' hot in here.

"If I don't say this now, I'll surely break."

In hands now: Totalgirl Plus! [I'll post pictures of it later. I don't feel like taking pictures with this temperature]

I love it! I walked across 'Bookbugs' with Mary, my friend, and saw a copy of it on a magazine stand. We went inside to buy and I decided to have a Choco Caramel to quench thrist after. I almost went home with an empty wallet. Since, buying the magazine today and purchasing Zagu weren't in my plan. But I managed to pay a ride home with few pennies left inside. :D

P.S. Jessy, here's the link to Breaking Dawn that you wanted: http://www.savefile.com/files/1780997. Enjoy reading!

P.P.S. MacKenna, I made it in http://www.myflashfetish.com. You have to sign up first before you can make your own playlist of songs. =]

xo,

-♥C.

fear of the UNKNOWN.

Heeey, what's up? Waaaw! I'm posting for four consecutive nights. I'm not really fond of giving juicy updates on my other blog sites [I have like, 3 of them which I haven't opened for months now], but let's see how far this blog can go updated.

*Notice my change of fonts? Heh. Tryin' something new*

Soo... my Gen. Psychology instructor told us about this, so-called, 'fear of the unknown'. My 'unknown' has a fixed meaning. It makes me think of bizarre things, or even creatures around us that can't be seen by our naked eyes. I remembered that the word is a variable, so it's applicable to all 'unknown' stuff or future situations. HAHA. Okayssss. I forgot that. =]

WEEEEE. I'm so jumpy right now! I saw my crush tonight. He was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and a basketball shorts and his face was sort of tired but still cute. I think he just finished jogging that time. Yey! Crush looked at me. Umm... I would always feel uneasy when I would say that he's my recent crush since I had never looked at him in a crush-like way before. It all started last Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2008. I was in school for softball practice, remember, and he was there, since he's friends with two or four of my teammates. That day, I saw him training his self for soccer alone, listening to his iPod. I wanted to jog with him around the campus. Maybe he'd change my attitude towards jogging. I might like it instead. HAHA. And how would that ever happen when we aren't even friends?! And because of his constant listening to his iPod, I codenamed him after that object. I shall call him, iPod from this time on. [Keep that in your long-term memory since you'll be reading more about my encounters with him in the 'unknown' future]

Who knows where this feelings could go. It's still...UNKNOWN.

Tsk.Tsk. But there's one thing I know of, NO CLASSES TOMORROW!

P.S. Oh iPod, when will you reach in to my hands!

xo,

-♥C.